Blatant Reality

Here are a few things I thought up over the past week that I feel every guy should take into account on Valentine’s Day.

1. If you can’t afford a dozen roses, go with one. Any other number requires a detailed explanation that you just don’t have.
2. When you give your girlfriend a rose, you might not want to hint that it is a symbol of your love, because a rose may be beautiful but it will also be dead within a week.
3. If you give your girlfriend a bear for Valentines day, don’t try to joke around by saying, “See, I got it because our relationship is unBEARable. Get it?” She gets it, but you probably won’t be getting what you’ll be looking for later that night.
4. If you are going to read her the poem “Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?” on Valentine’s Day, be sure that it is the Shakespeare version and not the Moss version.
5. Don’t eat some of her chocolates before you give them to her. I know she may be your princess but the excuse of “checking for poison” just doesn’t fly in the 21st century.
6. If your girlfriend says “Aww, you shouldn’t have…” when she opens your gift, don’t reassure her by saying “Don’t worry, it cost less than your Christmas present.”

Other than those few things, remember to be a gentleman and that this day is all about her.